Grief

Aug. 22, 2018

I have no words to describe the heartache and loss I feel with the passing of our Bentley.  Rick and I loved her dearly and in different ways.  We are forever grateful for all of our friends and family that went to be with her as she passed.  Not being there was horrible but knowing she was surrounded by so many who loved her, made it a little easier.

When we lost our beloved Tyson in June of 2011.  The loss was deep and the pain was real.  He remains “the best dog ever”.  His favorite thing to do in life was chase a tennis ball.  We had to spell around him as he knew certain words such as walk, leash and go.   He would go get shoes (not always the correct shoe) and would grab any hoodie not hung up and bring it to you as he knew those items were for walking.  He would make us laugh once we put a leash on him, he would grab the leash as if to walk himself.  He was a heeler and he loved to direct you to the door.  He was strong and not afraid of anything, except loud noises.  But thunder didn’t bother him.  The doorbell always meant the pizza guy.

But Bentley, she was hand picked by me.  I saw her online at the shelter and we rushed down to take a look.  She was a heeler as well, but she was a blue and red mix.  She was so beautiful.  She was so scared and had to be carried outside.  I remember looking into her eyes and laying on the concrete next to her and telling her that I already loved her and that she would always be safe with us.  I was so happy to have her.  The first night with her was funny and yet annoying.  She escaped from her pen twice.  We found her in the kitchen eating chips.  We ended up putting her inside the main bathroom and she whined and whined.  I had to get up early and was just so annoyed I finally let her out and gave her free range of the house.  If she destroyed it, then so be it.  She settled right down in our bedroom.  Not close to either of us, but still in the same room.  I never imagined how scared she must have been.  Another “new place”.  She was really “my first dog”.   Bentley never learned what words meant.  But she knew the sound of a leash and what that meant.  She knew certain sounds of Ritz crackers and peanuts needing to be shelled.  Those are things she cherished with Rick.  He was the snack giver.

We went everywhere together.  We hiked, we did the incline and we conquered Mt. Elbert.  My heart was full and complete.  She took guidance from Tyson.  For example, Tyson always had his head out the car window.  Bentley would sit straight up in the center of back seat and never inch toward a window.  Several months after we had her we went camping and all of a sudden she sticks her head out the window and she was sold on it from then on.

She would always steal Tyson’s stuffed sqeaky animals.  It didn’t matter that she had her own, she was a typical sibling, she wanted them all.  He let her have them for the most part.  Sometimes he wouldn’t give in so easily to her and the chase was on.  She always ended up under our bed as he couldn’t fit under it.

Her absolute favorite thing was to hike.  Whenever we got close to the mountain area she would begin to whimper and whine and bounce around in the back seat from window to window.  She knew the smells.  She knew what it meant.  Once off leash she would run ahead and then turn around come back and lick my leg as to tell me “thank you for bringing me out here.”

I have so many wonderful memories of her.  I miss her terribly.  I find it is hard to get out of bed as that means I have to face another day without her.  My heart and soul have huge holes.  She was and will always be my little girl.  I beg God at night for us to meet again.

The Specialty Vet and our regular vet are so amazing. We received updates every evening.  She was getting the best care possible.  Plus she had her Momma Peggy taking care of her.  We are forever indebted to our friend Peggy for the love and care she always gives our babies when we leave.  She always goes above any expectations.